I’m honestly struggling. I feel like nothing I have been doing is giving me results and the future honestly scares me. That’s always been my biggest fear, the future. It’s so beyond my control that I want to just crawl under a rock and let it pass. But sadly, the world that I live in frowns upon that sort of behavior. So for now I just have to hold it together and keep putting up my mask to the world. As far as the world can see me, I’m doing great: I’m happy. I’m not anxious. I feel ‘normal’ (if there ever was such a thing). But inside… inside I’m cracking. Inside I feel like I’m about to fall apart at a moments notice. Inside the walls, inside the false mask that I project to the world, inside me, I know the truth.