livelifebyliving:

I’ve done a general post on Self Injury, but I’ve never shared the personal details about my battle with anyone except my closest friends. Some of the things that I’m about to say are things that they haven’t even heard. So, here we go.

My name is Michael, and I was 12 years old when I started cutting. I can’t really explain why I did it, it was more of an escape from feeling the emotional pain that I felt. I felt like seeing the cuts on my arm, knowing that I was physically hurting myself, I knew that I couldn’t get any worse. It was almost something where I said ‘I might as well make myself the worst I can possibly be, that way I can’t get any worse’ (if that makes sense). The extreme release I felt from this was my only escape from day-to-day life. I started cutting to feel some sense of control over the pain that I felt every day. In the end, it just ended up controlling me.

I remember in 6th grade, I was talking to a close friend of mine (at the time). Let’s call her Jane (No, that’s not her real name, but it’s not important). She and I were close enough to share anything that was bugging us. One day, she mentioned that she was cutting. At the time, I didn’t understand it really. I asked her why she did it, and she told me that she didn’t even know anymore. Then as she went on, she urged me never to try it. She told me that I had to promise to never try cutting. I promised her. Little did I know, I was about to step off of a cliff and never be the same. 

Read More

I’ve done a general post on Self Injury, but I’ve never shared the personal details about my battle with anyone except my closest friends. Some of the things that I’m about to say are things that they haven’t even heard. So, here we go.

My name is Michael, and I was 12 years old when I started cutting. I can’t really explain why I did it, it was more of an escape from feeling the emotional pain that I felt. I felt like seeing the cuts on my arm, knowing that I was physically hurting myself, I knew that I couldn’t get any worse. It was almost something where I said ‘I might as well make myself the worst I can possibly be, that way I can’t get any worse’ (if that makes sense). The extreme release I felt from this was my only escape from day-to-day life. I started cutting to feel some sense of control over the pain that I felt every day. In the end, it just ended up controlling me.

I remember in 6th grade, I was talking to a close friend of mine (at the time). Let’s call her Jane (No, that’s not her real name, but it’s not important). She and I were close enough to share anything that was bugging us. One day, she mentioned that she was cutting. At the time, I didn’t understand it really. I asked her why she did it, and she told me that she didn’t even know anymore. Then as she went on, she urged me never to try it. She told me that I had to promise to never try cutting. I promised her. Little did I know, I was about to step off of a cliff and never be the same. 

Read More

Tomorrow, February 7th, is a huge day for me. February 7th of last year (2011) was the last time I self injured. I can’t even tell you how amazing it feels to be free of that terrible addiction. It became my life. I would sit at school and if something happened, I’d start thinking of the next time I’d be able to get my release in the form of a blade to my arm. It was my only release, but it was such short term relief. I would literally cut to escape the emotional low of my previous cut. I started it to be in control of my life, and in the end, it ended up controlling me instead. It really did nothing except hurt me. Seriously, I started and it just dragged me down. It hurt me, even though I didn’t exactly feel like I was physically hurting at first, the stinging and itching and constant hiding it. It seriously became my life. At one point I couldn’t get to sleep at night with one more cut. It calmed me down, or so I thought. The moral of the story is if you are even considering cutting, theres nothing anyone can say to stop you, but I hope you really think about what you’re getting into, and I urge you not to. Second, if you have already started cutting and are struggling with it, you should know that there IS hope. You don’t even want to know how many times I relapsed before I could get to the point where I was able to give it up. It IS a constant battle, and it never will disappear, but it WILL get easier in time. Plus, I’m always here for anyone who needs help.

-Michael

livelifebyliving.tumblr.com

“You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story”

Heartbreak… It’s perhaps the only problem in life that man hasn’t found a solution to (other than death). I’ve had my heart broken just once at this point. It’s a long, painful process. The only solution that I’ve found is time. Drinking won’t help, cutting won’t help, drugs won’t help. The only possible solution you’ll ever find is time. Time to compose yourself, time to realize that you are able to live without that person. I won’t sit here and type lies, it just wastes both of our time: It will be painful, it will make you want to just lay down and cry. You also will overcome it, and you will do so with the support of your family and your friends. 

Michael

livelifebyliving.tumblr.com