I’m honestly struggling. I feel like nothing I have been doing is giving me results and the future honestly scares me. That’s always been my biggest fear, the future. It’s so beyond my control that I want to just crawl under a rock and let it pass. But sadly, the world that I live in frowns upon that sort of behavior. So for now I just have to hold it together and keep putting up my mask to the world. As far as the world can see me, I’m doing great: I’m happy. I’m not anxious. I feel ‘normal’ (if there ever was such a thing). But inside… inside I’m cracking. Inside I feel like I’m about to fall apart at a moments notice. Inside the walls, inside the false mask that I project to the world, inside me, I know the truth.

Really, the question comes to mind: what is happiness? To understand happiness, I feel like one must realize that happiness only exists because sadness exists. Just like hot is to cold, happy is to sad. Confused? Okay, for just a moment imagine a world where there is no such thing as ‘sad’. Every thought you have, every word you speak, is happy. Now realize that if there was nothing to compare happiness to, the ‘happy’ that we know today would just become a neutral, everyday feeling to us.

The point here that I’m trying to prove here is that even though sad and difficult times, the sadness serves as a reference to make the good times that much better. It’s very much a cliché but it’s true.

-Michael

livelifebyliving.com

But please pray for my dad and keep him in your thoughts. They found more melanoma on him today. They cut it out but it’s alarming that it was on a different part of his body than last time. Again I don’t ask for favors very often but I need some support with this. There’s few things that scare me in this world, but the thought of losing the man who I look up to, the thought of losing the man who has been with me through everything, who has raised me and who means the world to me… That scares me a lot.

Thanks guys.
Goodnight.

-Michael

First, the amount of information that the human mind can filter through absolutely amazes me. Think about it. Everything that goes on around you, whether you know it or not, is picked up by one of your five senses. You can see, touch, taste, smell, or hear it. The fact that we are able to focus at all in any capacity is amazing. Somehow, our brains are able to filter out certain things when they’re not important. The best example of this is the chair you are sitting in (or the bed you’re laying in). Your mind isn’t consciously thinking about the feeling that it gives you, but at the same time if you think about it you are able to feel the chair under you. That honestly is amazing to me. 

Second, I’ve come to the conclusion that some amount of people (I’m not sure if it’s 1% or 99%) are absolutely awful, vile, horrible things.

That is all.

Nine words, yet some of the most amazing and meaningful advice I’ve ever heard. I can tell you firsthand that money can destroy people, BUT money itself does not ruin a person. Money can change the way a person looks at the world. Money can corrupt a person. Money can eventually kill a person. But, if a person uses their money to make a difference, it produces an amazing feeling. 

That was really random…

-Michael

If I’ve saved your life or helped you through a hard time, send me a message.

Because of the brave actions of an armed police officer, nobody was killed. People talk about guns being the issue… In my personal opinion, guns are not always the issue. People are the issue. We as a society need to stand together and say enough. We cannot continue this heartless killing. It is time that we as a world stand against this violence. Too many sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers have been killed. Too many lives cut short.

Enough is enough: It’s time that we make a change. 

Repost this message, tweet using #enoughisenough, and stand up against this type of violence.

As many of you know, I’ve been collecting many different facts from many different people about their dreams and dream habits. 

Before I get too in depth about the topic of dreaming, it is important for me to explain some of the research of a man named Sigmund Freud.Though Freud’s work is still extremely controversial in the psychological world, he is considered the father of modern day psychoanalysis. He had a theory that the human mind has two sides: the conscious mind, and the unconscious mind. He believed that these two sides did not typically cross over very often. The conscious mind involves conscious decisions and logic in day-to-day life. The conscious mind filters thoughts, The unconscious mind is a completely uncensored side of your mind which crosses over into conscious thought on very rare occasions. One of these occasions, I believe, is when the mind is dreaming. This explains why some dreams can be so far-fetched and crazy, yet we don’t usually realize it while dreaming.

So far, this is what I’ve found:

-People tend to remember bad dreams much more often than they remember good dreams. From what I notice, bad dreams seem more vivid than good ones.

Why? There are a few theories that I have. One is that fear is an extremely strong emotion. That emotion could translate to more detailed dreams. Another theory is that bad dreams are primarily handled by the conscious part of the brain. This would provide a much more solid memory of the ‘bad’ dream, in contrast to the fogged memory of ‘good’ dreams that people often experience. 

-People’s dreams are usually influenced by current events in their lives. That’s not to say that some dreams aren’t random. But again, often dreams seem completely random, but upon closer examination we see that there really is a lesson.

My theory for this point is that the catalyst (cause), of a dream is the unconscious mind breaking through to a ‘real’ dream. Because of the fact that the unconscious mind is unfiltered and uncensored, our unconscious self tries to teach our conscious self a lesson. This explains how so many of our dreams hold valuable information and advice for our conscious life.

So… What do these two trends prove? Not much… They’re just observations. There is little proof behind these statements, but I think they provoke thought.

-Michael

livelifebyliving.com

~~

Want to get involved in my study on dreams? Answer these questions for me in my ask. You can remain anonymous if you are more comfortable with that. All submissions will be kept confidential.

Questions after the jump!

Read More

livelifebyliving:

Sometimes I question whether or not there is a real definition of the word normal. The idea of Normality is so subjective that I’m not sure any specific words can be used to label it in its entirety. I find myself “normal”, but many of my friends would tell you I am absolutely crazy and the farthest thing from normal. Being normal or abnormal is not a good or bad thing. It just ‘is’. I remember when I was in the hospital after a suicide attempt. I don’t honestly think I fit in with any of the other young men and women who I met. Then again, I’m sure that they all would say the same thing if you ask them. The idea of being normal stems from society’s “perfect stereotype”. If we are constantly striving to be something that does not expect, what does that even make us? Does it make us empty? Full? Uncertain? Ambiguous? Yes. It makes us a combination of these things. The best adjective that I can form from these traits is “human”. By design, we are all different. That does not make any one of us or any group of us more normal or better than another.

The lesson and idea that I am trying to convey in this rant is that there is no such thing as normal. The only is such a thing as human individuality.

I hope that makes sense.

– Michael

Sometimes I question whether or not there is a real definition of the word normal. The idea of Normality is so subjective that I’m not sure any specific words can be used to label it in its entirety. I find myself “normal”, but many of my friends would tell you I am absolutely crazy and the farthest thing from normal. Being normal or abnormal is not a good or bad thing. It just ‘is’. I remember when I was in the hospital after a suicide attempt. I don’t honestly think I fit in with any of the other young men and women who I met. Then again, I’m sure that they all would say the same thing if you ask them. The idea of being normal stems from society’s “perfect stereotype”. If we are constantly striving to be something that does not expect, what does that even make us? Does it make us empty? Full? Uncertain? Ambiguous? Yes. It makes us a combination of these things. The best adjective that I can form from these traits is “human”. By design, we are all different. That does not make any one of us or any group of us more normal or better than another.

The lesson and idea that I am trying to convey in this rant is that there is no such thing as normal. The only is such a thing as human individuality.

I hope that makes sense.

– Michael

My friends wanted to go out drinking tonight. I said no. They nagged me until I got fed up and left. Still not sorry. I don’t drink and I have my reasons for doing so. Also, there are times where I just don’t want to deal with people. Is that so hard to understand?

My life, My choices.

Happiness is something that’s really difficult to write about. I’ll give you a heads up: This will be a rather short post. 

Happiness is something that is obtained not just through following a list of steps and doing a list of things, but by living life to your fullest potential. So many people seem to think that money buys happiness. I can firsthand tell you that it doesn’t. Growing up, my dad owned his own company and money wasn’t an issue. I had everything that I could have ever asked for. The interesting thing is that with all of the material possessions, I tried to fill a void inside me. This ended with me spiraling into a deep depression and almost losing my life in the process of recovery. So let me state this first: Money doesn’t by happiness, it buys a short term distraction from sadness. 

The way I’ve found happiness isn’t in material things or literature or movies or even music. I find happiness every day in waking up and knowing that I’m doing everything that I can to make this world a better place for myself, the people around me, and the future of our society. That honestly is the best way that I can think of to be happy. It takes time. It really does, but there is nothing like it in the world.

My proof of that is when I was on a service trip to the Dominican Republic in high school. I worked in a dental clinic for a week from dusk to dawn. It was honestly very difficult work. Every day when I would walk back from our lunch tables down the road back to our makeshift clinic, I had to pass the local school. (In the DR, children go to school either in the morning, or the afternoon. Never both) When I would walk by, the children would be lined up inside the gates of the school ready and excited to learn. I remember hearing the cheers of “¡Los Americanas!” (The Americans!). Seeing those children smiling and happy to see someone there to give them the basics… I’ll never forget it. That is the moment when I realized what real happiness is.

Food for thought,

Michael

livelifebyliving.com

This post may be triggering. If you are prone to self injury, please read this in a safe place.

~~

Dear You,

Before I start, I want you to promise me something. I won’t tell you what to do to yourself. It’s not my place. But I want you to promise me: If you are triggered, read this entire letter. If you still are triggered, talk to me. 

I see what you’re thinking. You’re broken, right? Something happened that broke you down to nothing. You see the blades? The relief is easy, sure. It only takes a few seconds. Just one more cut, right? It’ll be easy! Nobody will ever know.

But do you want to know the truth? That cut will lead to another. As soon as you make the first cut, you’ll be addicted. You will be hooked. You will start cutting to free yourself from your burdens… to let you feel something, anything really would be better than this, right? Guess what happens next. You aren’t free. You’re addicted. You will feel like you’re in an endless struggle. Sure, there will be help there for you, but I almost guarantee that you won’t take it… not at first anyways.

People will ask questions. They will look at your scars and healing cuts and ask what happened. The first excuses are easy. Blame it on your cat? That will work once, maybe twice. What about the third time? The fourth?  Yeah… start thinking of excuses. You’re going to need a lot of them. 

Oh, you think you’re just going to hide your cuts? It’s much easier to hide one or two. But what about when you have thirty, forty, fifty, even ninety separate cuts to cover? Still planning on hiding it? Good. What about when you have to go swimming? What about when you change clothes? People will ask you questions. You will not have the answers. Word will get out. News of your cutting problem will spread like wildfire. Then what happens when it get’s to your parents? What would your Mom think? What about your Dad? Even your brother or sister will find out. Would you want to have your family live with that guilt? They will feel guilt… 

What about when you have children? What if you are babysitting? What are you going to say when your child points at your scars and says “Mommy, what are those from?” or “Dad… What are those marks on your arm?”. Will you be able to tell them? Will you be able to live with yourself after passing the idea on to your children or siblings or family?

There is help. Whatever you are going through, it all will get better. You are loved. I can promise you that because I love you. You are a special, important human being. You are beautiful and you are strong. Do not listen to the lies your brain tells you. You are strong. Nobody ever can take that from you.

So put the knife down. Talk to me. I’m always here to talk. 

You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story. You are loved, You are strong, and You will get through this.

Love-

Michael

It doesn’t matter your race, sex, sexual orientation, age, marital status, income level, citizenship, religion, customary traditions, or anything else. 

The only thing that matters is who you are as a person.

And THATS the way it should be.