I love it. I want to pour my heart out right now but it’ll sound absolutely insane if I do and I’ll probably get crap for it. 

Ok screw it… It’s my blog, I can write what I want, right?

Up to March 14, 2012, the majority of my life had been based on the philosophy “Struggle through the day and sleep through the night”. Then I started becoming even closer with a girl who was one of my best friends. After having my heart shattered in the past, the one thing that I was afraid of most was a repeat of the past. I had completely shut off my ability to love. (Yes, I’m using the word love. The strongest possible emotion that any human being can ever feel, in my opinion). I couldn’t handle having my heart broken like that again. I had the mindset of resisting all form of attachment to any girl who I may become close to. I literally resisted love with every fiber of my being. But then I started to feel it towards her. After shutting off my heart to love for so long, I fell in love with my best friend. Since then, my entire outlook has changed. My shattered heart has been held together and stolen by the girl who I happily call both my girlfriend and my best friend. After so many years of being friends, I finally can call her my love. So Reem, if you’re reading this, I love you. (I told you I would broadcast it to the world somehow).

This concludes my emotional spilling my heart out.

-Michael

livelifebyliving.com

 Losing someone who you love. This is one of those topics where I have to choose my words very carefully, because there’s not many that begin to describe the range of emotions that one experiences. I guess it all depends on the specific situation that you’re living. Often, grief is felt. There are five stages of grief, but that’s a whole different post. Grief, sadness, misery, heartbreak, longing. Those are just a few words that represent the emotions people feel after losing someone close to them. Yes, pay attention to the fact that I say they are just words that represent the emotion. By reading the word grief, you don’t even begin to realize how painful it can be until you A) go through a similar situation, or B) really stop to take a second and think about what it means. That someone  you lost could be a boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, family member, really anyone who has had a major impact on your life. The emotions aren’t describable, and I won’t even try.

-Michael

livelifebyliving.tumblr.com

Reposting this from months ago, it needs to be seen.

Whoever you are, whoever you may be,

I won’t sit here on the other side of this page and tell you that ‘this is bad’ or ‘you can’t do this’. What I say doesn’t matter. The choice is yours. If you want to injure yourself that badly, there is nothing in this world that I can do to stop you.  There simply aren’t the words.

Before you cut, know something. Once you start, you won’t want to stop. Most people will look down upon you. You will feel ashamed. You will be stuck. Even if it’s just once, you will be hooked. It doesn’t matter how resolved you are to jut go once. Once you make the decision to self injure once, you will do it again. The once will turn to twice, the twice to three times, and so on. You will continue this habit whenever you feel anxious, angry, afraid, sad, or even when you aren’t feeling anything at all. 

This will continue until your entire life has become cutting. When you constantly wear long sleeves, or long pants. When you’re always afraid of someone finding out your secret. There’s always help, but once you start, it becomes much harder to listen to anybody (who are just trying to help). You will see the help as attacks on you. You will get defensive. 

Think about what this would do to your family. Imagine if they found out. Well, you may want to start finding excuses. If you start, someone will find out, and believe me, they will question it. It doesn’t matter how much you try to hide it, they will find out, and even if you give them an excuse for what happened: they will figure it out. 

I don’t know you; I don’t know your situation, all I know it that the life I once lived was not one I enjoyed. If you’re going to do this, be ready. If this is the life you want to live, by all means: it is your life. As someone once said: “As long as you’re happy”.

-Michael

If you need to talk, leave me a message: livelifebyliving.tumblr.com

‘Letter to a Self Injurer’ by Michael Garrett is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Whoever you are, whoever you may be,

I won’t sit here on the other side of this page and tell you that ‘this is bad’ or ‘you can’t do this’. What I say doesn’t matter. The choice is yours. If you want to injure yourself that badly, there is nothing in this world that I can do to stop you.  There simply aren’t the words.

Before you cut, know something. Once you start, you won’t want to stop. Most people will look down upon you. You will feel ashamed. You will be stuck. Even if it’s just once, you will be hooked. It doesn’t matter how resolved you are to jut go once. Once you make the decision to self injure once, you will do it again. The once will turn to twice, the twice to three times, and so on. You will continue this habit whenever you feel anxious, angry, afraid, sad, or even when you aren’t feeling anything at all. 

This will continue until your entire life has become cutting. When you constantly wear long sleeves, or long pants. When you’re always afraid of someone finding out your secret. There’s always help, but once you start, it becomes much harder to listen to anybody (who are just trying to help). You will see the help as attacks on you. You will get defensive. 

Think about what this would do to your family. Imagine if they found out. Well, you may want to start finding excuses. If you start, someone will find out, and believe me, they will question it. It doesn’t matter how much you try to hide it, they will find out, and even if you give them an excuse for what happened: they will figure it out. 

I don’t know you; I don’t know your situation, all I know it that the life I once lived was not one I enjoyed. If you’re going to do this, be ready. If this is the life you want to live, by all means: it is your life. As someone once said: “As long as you’re happy”.

-Michael

If you need to talk, leave me a message: livelifebyliving.tumblr.com

‘Letter to a Self Injurer’ by Michael Garrett is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.